You open Instagram to see yet another sparkly diamond ring captioned with "I said yes!" Your email inbox contains another wedding invitation. Later in the day, you scroll past another happy couple posting their perfectly curated love story on Facebook.
And here you are—genuinely happy for them—but also feeling that dull ache in the background. It's not that you want to be bitter. It's just that complicated blend of joy for others mixed with exhaustion. And no, Aunt Marissa, I don’t have an update on my love life since you asked at Christmas dinner.
If you're in your 30s or beyond and still single, you know exactly what I'm talking about. So, given the reality of our present circumstances, how do we navigate this season without losing our joy—or our sanity?
1. Watch Out for the Lies
The hardest part of singleness isn't actually being alone—it's the internal dialogue that creeps in during vulnerable moments. "Maybe no one will ever want me." "Maybe God doesn't really care about this part of my life." "Maybe I should just lower my standards and settle for someone… anyone."
These are lies. All of them.
Makayla Martin put it best: "I had subtly let experiences of loneliness or not being asked out speak louder than what God said about me: that I am His child…He who spared not the own Son, but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also, with Him, grant us all things?" (Romans 8:32).
That’s the truth. God is deeply invested in every dimension of your life, including your relationships. You are not forgotten. Your desire for love isn't frivolous or secondary to Him. You are seen, known, and cherished.
2. Shift the Focus. Lean into Purpose
Singleness isn't a waiting room where real life is temporarily suspended. You don't have to pretend singleness isn't hard. But you also don't have to let it consume you or let your thoughts spiral out of control.
Phyllis Anderson went through a similar season where nearly all of her friends got married in rapid succession: "I remember being excited but also exhausted—probably from the tension of grieving and celebrating at the same time. I had to intentionally find purpose in other areas of my life."
Susan Wong offers wisdom from her own journey: " The best thing I did was shift my focus. Trying to pour myself into areas where I could serve really helped. I started leading college ministry in my 30s, and I never regret it. I would never trade those experiences, even for marriage."
This perspective transforms everything.
It's a season rich with unique opportunities and freedoms. What if, instead of fixating on what you don't yet have, you leaned fully into what you do? Your unencumbered time, focused energy, and singleness are gifts that can be channeled for the Kingdom in ways married people often cannot.
The Apostle Paul understood this when he wrote that the unmarried person "cares for the things that belong to the Lord—how he may please the Lord" (1 Cor. 7:32).
What passions has God placed in your heart? This might be exactly the right time to chase after them with everything you have.
3. Don’t Let Comparison Steal Your Joy
In our hyperconnected world, it's never been easier to fall into the comparison trap. It's easy to feel like someone else's marriage is a reminder of what you don't have.
But as Mark Russell says, "Someone else's success is not your failure. Rejoice with them. Anything less will leave you bitter. And that is not attractive."
Comparison is a thief, and discontentment is its best friend. The more you compare, the more you rob yourself of joy-in-the-present.
Instead of dwelling on someone else's timeline, trust that God, the One who makes all things beautiful in His time, is writing a unique story for your life—one that doesn't need to look like anyone else's.
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4. Find Your People. Take Ownership.
There's nothing quite like being the only single person in a room full of couples. The contrast can sometimes be painfully obvious.
If anything, the enemy would love to use your unmet longing to plant doubts—whispering that God has forgotten you or that His plan isn’t good. Before you know it, you could end up like the servant who buried his one talent and blamed God for his inaction.
And here’s the hard truth: Many Christians fall into the trap of ‘doing nothing; (while saying they’re "waiting on God.”)
Faith isn’t an excuse for inaction. Kristin Summers gets it:
“One of the things that’s helped me is getting involved with events that include other singles—preferably co-ed, so you can make friends who are in the same shoes.” Surround yourself with friends who won’t treat your singleness like a problem to fix but will walk alongside you in it.
So, ask yourself honestly:
Am I putting myself in environments where I can actually meet quality Christians?
Am I being proactive, or am I just hoping love magically happens?
5. Be Honest About Your Expectations
Zac Thompson brings up a hard but important point: "Everyone says 'never settle,' but the options do start to thin out with time. We all have our shopping-list of ideal qualities, but at some point, we have to ask: If I can't get my perfect partner, am I content being permanently single? If the answer is yes, then keep holding out. But if the answer is no, then maybe you must quit waiting for Prince Charming and instead give Bob a chance."
Many singles are stuck in a dating rut because they have a fixed idea of what their future spouse must look like. They overlook great people because they don't check every single box on their list. While you should never compromise on being "equally yoked," it's worth evaluating whether unrealistic expectations might be holding you back.
6. Work on Your Relational Skills
We all have blind spots when it comes to relationships. Maybe you don't even realize the signals you're sending to potential partners.
A little self-work goes a long way:
Get honest feedback from trusted friends who know you well. They can see the blind spots you're missing. They will be your "iron-sharpens-iron" friends—if you let them.
Invest in books on healthy Christian relationships, dating, and marriage.
Consider working through any emotional baggage that might be keeping you stuck.
Great relationships don't just happen. They require personal growth, self-awareness, and intentionality.
Final Thoughts
This season is not a punishment. It’s not a delay. It’s not divine oversight.
It's a chapter in your story (not "the story of your life") that God is fully present in—working in ways you might not yet see.
If you find yourself struggling with the weight of waiting, remember this truth: You are His. And your worth was established at the cross, not at an altar.
Keep pressing on. Your story isn't over yet. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
