The System's Broken. Another Dating App Won’t Fix It
You know the system is broken when a Christian dating group hosts a Zoom event and five thousand singles show up every night for four days straight. That’s twenty thousand people - on just one group.
You know the system is broken when you scroll the participant list and find twenty women for every one man. A 20:1 ratio.
You know the system is completely broken when the same group runs an Instagram post the day after: “pitch yourself in the comments.” And Jessika, who introduced herself as a 32-year-old, runs half marathons, cooks from scratch, serves at her church every week, is intentional about her faith, and is looking for a God-centered man who wants to lead, gets a grand total of 38 likes.
While Chris, 38, extroverted, bilingual, leans into Jesus, smells amazing, gets 367.
Chris got ten times the attention.
Those numbers: A 20:1 ratio. A 10x gap in attention (38 vs 367) - are the honest data points about where Christian dating actually is right now.
It feels like we’re living in Isaiah 4:1 - where seven women will hold on to one man. I’m not saying we’re there yet. But we’re closer than we’d like to admit.
So what is actually going on?
Churches genuinely want to help their singles. Most just don't know how - so the default answer is always the apps. Download something. Swipe somewhere.
And the apps have their own problem: you are searching for a spouse inside a pool of people who are mostly open to finding dates. You're thinking lifelong covenant. Most of them are thinking Friday night.
So a lot of Christians are deleting the apps altogether to go organic.
But underneath all of that - the apps and the church small groups and the "just trust God's timing" advice - there's something else happening that almost nobody is willing to say out loud.
Marriage itself has become a hard sell to a growing number of men.
When divorce is messy, emotionally brutal, and can wipe out your finances, and when hookup culture gives you all the benefits of marriage without the commitment - a growing number of men have quietly done the math and opted out of he “ball and chain”
One man put it with a bluntness that’s hard to argue with:
“Marriage: one bad decision and you lose the house. Dating: one bad decision and you just lose their number.”
He wasn't being provocative. He is just describing how a lot of men now think.
A Christian man might protest and say he’s not into casual dating and that he's about covenant, not convenience. Fair.
But the Christian men showing up on many of these groups, apps, and forums are a different story. Many are not financially stable. Many are not attractive. And a significant number have bought a version of biblical manhood that mistakes control and dictatorship for manly headship
One Christian influencer posted on X that women should not describe themselves as bold, independent, or successful - because good Christian men wouldn’t want that. They want meek, submissive and nurturing.
That’s not love. That’s not servant leadership. That’s not Christ-like.
So if you are a woman - smart, educated, financially stable, grounded in your faith -you’re in a catch-22. On one side is the secular man who wants the relationship without the covenant and on the other is the Christian man who wants a wife he can rule and control.
And so many godly women are choosing to wait rather than settle for either. Waiting on God to show them the right one.
The right ones exist. Godly, serious about marriage, humble, and doing well in their lives. They're out there. They're just not loud about it - in many ways, like Isaac, are ready for marriage but waiting for an Eliezer.r who'd step in to save the day for them.
Our world needs more Eliezers.
Not another app. Not another course on dating. Not another sermon on how God can use your singleness to help you grow. Eliezers.
That’s the vision behind Matrimony Station.
Eliezer brought Isaac a wife, not a date. We chose “Matrimony Station” on purpose. Because we are here for holy matrimony, not dating.
Eliezer took an arduous, long journey — because he knew Canaanite women were no good for his master’s son. We too are invested in finding you someone who is equally yoked.
Eliezer was capable and willing to find a bride for Isaac. We, given our experience in executive recruitment, are capable of finding the right person. And we are willing — because we believe helping build godly marriages and homes is a calling, not a side hustle.
We know we may not be able to fix the broken system. But we worship a God who can multiply five loaves and two fish to feed a massive, hungry crowd. While God does what only He can - the lad who gave up his lunch played a role in the miracle. So did the disciples who distributed and cleaned up. So are we.
Here are two simple ways to join this mission.
If you know anyone who's thinking of marriage, send them to https://matrimonystation.com. If they are not ready yet, ask them to subscribe to our free newsletter at https://www.theequallyyoked.com.
If your pastor has a heart for singles, send him these links or just send him our way. We'd be glad to send a couple of banners and posters for the church notice board.
Let us know and we would get in touch with more details.
So let's land this plane with this misquote: "The Isaacs and Rebekahs are plenty. But the Eliezers are few."