How to Overcome Lust—When "Just Stop" Isn’t Enough
Reddit Q&A
The struggle is real.
Today on r/ChristianDating, someone asked about Matthew 5:27-28:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
I have a question for people who study the Word of God. Can you share your understanding of this verse? I realize that lust and desire come from the heart, and that Scripture warns us not to look with lust (not to fuel sin in our thoughts, not to watch porn, etc.), but how can you actually resist that desire? It’s easy to say, “Don’t do it,” but much harder to put into practice.
I’ve been struggling with porn addiction for 12 years. I’ve repented in tears many times, feeling deep shame and pain. I’ve tried so many times to stop — and failed. Not long ago, I found out I have bipolar disorder and ADHD. Both are strongly linked to addictive behavior and dopamine issues. And I started to wonder — maybe one of the reasons I haven’t been able to quit is because of these disorders? I’m tired. Porn doesn’t even bring me pleasure anymore. I logically understand it’s harming me. But sometimes it’s like my mind shuts off — and I go back to it.
I’m not even sure what exactly I’m hoping to hear. Maybe, first of all, a deeper explanation of this verse. And secondly, your thoughts about my story. Maybe someone’s been through something similar. Thank you!
MatrimonyStation’s Answer:
To properly understand Matthew 5:27-28, we need context.. Just a few verses earlier - in verse 21, our Lord says:
"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment."
The principle is clear: Thoughts lead to actions.
Anger leads to murder.
Lust leads to adultery.
Jesus doesn’t just forbid the act—He targets the root.
Don’t want to murder? Kill the anger.
Don’t want to commit adultery? Starve (don’t entertain) the lust.
How to Actually Fight Lust
Cut Off the Fuel
You wouldn’t hand whiskey to an alcoholic. So why feed lust?
Like a recovering alcoholic who avoids bars, drinking buddies, and liquor at home, you must distance yourself from what feeds your sin.Stop consuming porn (yes, completely).
Stop indulging fantasies.
Stop putting yourself in compromising / tempting situations.
Take drastic steps if needed. Throw your phone away if you must.
Don’t blame bipolar disorder, ADHD, or dopamine. Don’t let the tail wag the dog.(Matthew 18:9: "If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out... Better to enter life with one eye than to be thrown into hell.")Live Like God Is Watching (Because He Is)
God told Abraham: "Walk before me and be blameless." (Genesis 17:1) When you live with the constant awareness that God sees everything—when you truly fear Him (and do not want to disappoint Him)—you’ll find the strength to obey.
The Battle Is Won (and lost) in Your Mind
Breaking a 12-year addiction starts in your mind. This isn’t about willpower. It’s about war.
Fight your thoughts.
Fight your triggers.
Fight like your soul depends on it (because it does).
You can break free. But you have to fight.
